Judas Mashed Potatoes

Something to betray the commensals for; or at least to impress the shit out of them. For full effect these must be served hot and fresh; the leftovers are nonetheless delicious and by no means should go to waste. Some recipes call for a specific type of potatoes, but since 90 percent of my cooking is low budget the only type of potatoes I use are the discount, or just the cheapest ones. As usual, adjust the quantities according to what you like.

Ingredients:
- 2-3 lbs potatoes, peeled, cubed
- one large red onion, chopped and caramelized (on medium heat, in olive oil, yes)
- 1/2 can of coconut milk
- cardamom, ground
- cloves, ground
- black pepper, FRESHLY GROUND
- Jamaican pepper (aka all-spice), ground
- salt

Making:
- boil potatoes until soft, but not falling apart of their own free will (cubing will speed up the process)
- drain the water and mash the potatoes
- add 1/4 can coconut milk and spices, mix
- add coconut milk as needed

My eastern European background requires any potatoes to be accompanied by sour cream, but that is entirely subjective.

Zen GG Tofu

Oh yes, I just dropped the t-word! You may be slightly offended or feel a bit cliche, but here's something that doesn't make fake meat, something real veg-tasty. The first principle of tofuism states that tofu is akin blank paper, thus takes on the taste of whatever it is marinated in. Zen suggests the balance of the four flavors, and GG stands for...

Garlic and Ginger Tofu

Ingredients:
1 lb x-firm tofu, cut into 1/2" strips
2-3 garlic cloves (depends on size), peeled, minced
2" piece of fresh ginger, peeled, minced
1/3 cup oil (olive/peanut)
1-2 tbsp soy sauce
10 drops liquid smoke
1-2 tbsp mustard
1-2 tsp honey or agave
1/6 cup vinegar (apple cider or rice)
freshly ground pepper
few drops of sesame oil (use with care - overwhelmingly strong taste)
few drops of red chili oil (optional, use with care - very spicy) or chili flakes

Process:
- place tofu, ginger and garlic into an oven-safe dish, mix
- mix the rest of the ingredients together, pour over the tofu
- marinate as little at 30 min to as long as 24h, turning and tossing occasionally
- bake at 425F for about 20 minutes, until tofu is golden

Notes:
- the composition of the marinade is not exact, so adjust to taste
- you can marinate in a ziplock bag instead of a dish; if you squeeze out all the air, there will be no need to turn the tofu
- adding onions during marination is nice as well, just remove them before baking and caramelize on medium heat, or use them for salad